I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dicks are not precious.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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