An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
