if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am naked and annoyed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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