so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
