the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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