The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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