Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize