just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if only i could text you this smell
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
