Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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