So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
