she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize