I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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