No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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