I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
