Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
