Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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