How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
