So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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