We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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