i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
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he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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We were destined to go to rehab together
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!