butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
