i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
