Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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