If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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