Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
