Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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