We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
