I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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