no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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