This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
