3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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