seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
