I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think i have two assholes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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