weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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