Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize