dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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