I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
