Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
