We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
