If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
