I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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