halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
