It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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