it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
