I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
