ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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