Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
