People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
