Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
