Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
