im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
