He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
