He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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