Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We need to get me chipped asap
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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