There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
