guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize