Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
