I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
